Designing the quilt tribute

To me it is very important that the color scheme reflect and celebrate diversity. My nephew is in an interracial relationship, and has an amazing daughter Grace, of whom we expect great things. I would like to have our family members’ names embroidered onto the quilt and have enough space for new names to be added. Quilting is celebrated in African-American and many other traditions. My mother learned it from her grandmother and we are hoping that Grace will learn it from our mother. I also want the quilt to travel and be passed down from generation to generation as an heirloom because at this point we don’t have anything that we can say has bound us together. Instead we are more of a family being pulled apart by bitterness and old bad memories.


This picture above is my nephew John and his daughter Grace.


I wish you had seen my beautiful body

The couple next door to Lizzy has been together for many years. All around us are those who have been in long-term relationships. And then, there we are, unique for many reasons. Being an interracial couple is  still a little different but not nearly so shocking as it was forty years ago. When I talk with Lizzy about her life, it is clear that she was involved in things that, if we had met year ago , we might have become involved. We were ardent troublemakers, people on the left protesting about war, racism, discrimination and the like. And due to genetics, we weighed less than we do now. It took many years before I reached 150 pounds. Now that I am almost 25 pounds heavier, people most often ask where I am storing it. And yes, small wispy women with intelligent eyes were popular when we were young radicals.

But there’s always a danger in starting to go down that road, isn’t there? We start to lose awareness of the gifts that we bring to our relationship. We can forget the wisdom we have gained from the things we have learned about relationships and, life and sex. I hope I am much better at all three than I was back then and that I had excellent women teachers. And (don’t tell Lizzy this but) I wasn’t just attracted to her body. There is her fierce sense of justice, her passion for life, and her hope and desire for recovery also attracted me.  Those were things that I heard in her voice the first time that we met. I am almost certain she would not have wanted to help me learn about women’s undergarments. Not every woman wants to take on “a young trainee” to quote the song “Want Ads”. She probably would have voted me out of the party.