Creating positive memories

In our family we remember the unpleasantries and the hurts that we have experienced. My mother will regale you with stories about the way her younger sister constantly failed to keep the electric bill paid. And my sister tells of the time when some of our relatives ripped off our mom’s younger brother. We rarely share stories about what made us a family and how we survived the Great Migration. We had land in the south but our ancestors we forced to leave, so the story goes.

But coming north did not keep us together generations have past and the divisions have cut a hole in the things we share. Perhaps creating a hanging quilt and listing our relationships with one another can be a step towards becoming a family once more. I know that our present situation doesn’t work for me any longer.Camera360_2014_10_11_124912_jpg


Happy anniversary, Lizzy

We have spent one memorable year together.. It’s been a time of growth and change in the mental health system that we have explored together. We are a vital part of the Recovery Advisory Committee that has guided the implementation of Comprehensive Community Services. This Medicaid benefit could potentially speed the recovery of people in Milwaukee County. It may seem strange or unromantic talking about the work that brought us together but that work is an outgrowth of our values, the things that we are about.

We are people who came of age during our nation’s darkest hour, mired in a horrible war in Southeast Asia that killed hundreds of thousands and continues to kill Americans, Vietnamese and so many more. But we didn’t stop with the idea that our country was on the wrong track. We have set out to help people through compassion and service. That is what made us a couple.

This year has included sadness and challenge, the death of a cat and our growth as people. I am the man you were seeking. I am not one of those sappy granola eating guys who will moon over you all day long. I am a lucky oddball who has been fortunate to find someone who matches my various quirks and eccentricities. May the next 40 years be as much fun as the first as we continue the search for intelligent life in Wisconsin

This is one of those time when waiting and looking for a sweet little atheist really paid off. I am always saddened when I read these stories of atheists complaining that they somehow can’t find non-religious people to have as partners and friends. I think they simply need to keep looking. I’m glad that I did.

Now, we’re getting serious

It seems that I am perhaps a little too compatible with Lizzy and so we must make certain not to encourage one another’s bad habits. For one thing we are notorious procrastinators. I have developed many bad habits over the years that can be traced to Internet access. I am addicted to seeking information, no matter how trivial, and posting it on Facebook or wherever. Only when deadlines are staring me in the face do I knock out my assignments. Rarely do I take the opportunity to create a third or fourth draft before submitting a paper. In part this is due to my supreme confidence in my writing ability. However, when applied to the APA format, this kind of rid and run style can have serious limitations.

The other fault I share with Lizzy is that we were not the neatest kids in the playground. I joked about my habits in a blog about why the barefoot vegans would not accept me. In truth I never made an applicationĀ  because their lifestyle seemed completely different from mine. I could not imagine moving all of my belongings into one room and try as I might, I have not been able to develop much interest in yoga. Whereas, the housing group was centered around yoga and a shared sense of spirituality. Both of us are secular, rational people who like to reason things out more than we like to throw out things. We enjoy our dust animals. They comfort and caress us. Dirt unseen is well, just not there, silly.

So we have to channel one another’s inner Felix, the neatnik to Oscar’s live and let live. We will see how productive we are this week as I prepare to move in with my darling. I have managed to throw away some papers and donate clothes to a local organization. I have also located a loving home where I can send my furniture and my television. We will see how my little companion works on cleaning out the room where I am going to be setting up my office in our flat. This is some serious shit.

Someone who “gets” you

I can start explaining something to Lizzy and she listens quietly or sometimes she’s very excited and i realize she gets me. I think in relationships that begin to grow and develop into something more long lasting, you will reach a point of understanding what your partner is trying to tell you. You will start to explain yourself and your companion will say, “I know.”

You will realize that you don’t always have to be exciting, going and doing something together because merely being and talking to one another is enough. You will reach a point in time when the person you think about having sex with is the person you respect and value and listen to. The person who, if you walked into a crowded room, and you heard only that person’s voice, you would move towards him or her. At that point you will get one another. And that will be a love supreme. Talk to me, Mr. Coltrane.

One of the finest albums ever made. It become a life journey, seeking A Love Supreme. Where will you find it? What will you do with it, as part of a couple who get one another? How will you support, encourage, strengthen and bond with one another? How do we respond to being supremely loved? Good question. When you write to me, tell me about feeling that someone really gets and appreciates who you really are.