Well, dear reader, it seems the crossroad has come to me in my relationship with dear Lizzy. Through Facebook, she sent me a message promising a number of surprises when I see her on Saturday, Mind you, that we are two totally immature people in our 60s who have decided we met 20 years ago but were somehow married to the wrong people. I should also warn you that I have 2 interacting fetishes and 1 absolute must in my life. My fetishes are Asian women, who are absolutely the bomb. Lizzy and I have joked about this weird fantasy of mine but in reality I have never dated an Asian woman. Second fetish, which might come true, is that I love robots. I used to enjoy reading about them in science fiction novels and finding out what secret codes of honor the robots followed, well that will set me off.

So when Lizzy sent me a little Facebook note about the fact she had planned some little surprise for me when we see each other this weekend, I immediately thought : 3 Way with a robot. Wouldn’t you? What do you think she has in mind? Keep in mind that your suggestions can’t set off our pacemakers. Better yet, what would you suggest. Any suggestions involving current or retired athletes will be disallowed.

One absolute must in my life? Hah, what’s yours? I read about the top 50 New York Giants of all time and of course the top player is Lawrence Taylor. A great player but deeply flawed person, like most of us.¬† what is it you can’t live without?


On the night shift

Work is one of the things that can pull a couple apart faster than sex. It’s one of the things that defines us in America. I remember a previous relationship in which the woman I was dating was a co-worker and also living on Social security disability benefits. She was caught in a bind because she worried about losing the social safety net provided by those monthly checks. There have been studies showing that the number of people collecting those benefits has increased. And i spend a lot of my time assisting people who would to return to some form of gainful employment.

People like the woman I was dating, what had begun her career helping people. She already had a college degree, a wonderful smile and a history of overcoming challenges. And yet we were completely incompatible. There were underlying personality traits that should have told us to cease and desist, but in reality I think we were just too horny to recognize them.

As people with a lived experience of mental illness, we want to find people who can understand us and it makes perfectly good sense to find another consumer who has experienced some of the same extreme states we have visited. States of the union, states of consciousness and even Mississippi. Let’s visit them. but in regard to mental health you have to decide what impact if any your mental history plays in your life. In this case, my former girl friend found that she was unable to work as she continued to spiral downward. I now work more than 40 hours per week and may be on that other extreme of being far away.

I hear Jackie Wilson singing that your love has lifted me higher and higher. He was one of the singers being remembered in the tribute song Nightshift by the Commodores.  But the other type of nightshift is the one that takes place at home when you are discussing your views of life. Are you still talking about your work lives or something deeper and more meaningful?


Now, we’re getting serious

It seems that I am perhaps a little too compatible with Lizzy and so we must make certain not to encourage one another’s bad habits. For one thing we are notorious procrastinators. I have developed many bad habits over the years that can be traced to Internet access. I am addicted to seeking information, no matter how trivial, and posting it on Facebook or wherever. Only when deadlines are staring me in the face do I knock out my assignments. Rarely do I take the opportunity to create a third or fourth draft before submitting a paper. In part this is due to my supreme confidence in my writing ability. However, when applied to the APA format, this kind of rid and run style can have serious limitations.

The other fault I share with Lizzy is that we were not the neatest kids in the playground. I joked about my habits in a blog about why the barefoot vegans would not accept me. In truth I never made an application  because their lifestyle seemed completely different from mine. I could not imagine moving all of my belongings into one room and try as I might, I have not been able to develop much interest in yoga. Whereas, the housing group was centered around yoga and a shared sense of spirituality. Both of us are secular, rational people who like to reason things out more than we like to throw out things. We enjoy our dust animals. They comfort and caress us. Dirt unseen is well, just not there, silly.

So we have to channel one another’s inner Felix, the neatnik to Oscar’s live and let live. We will see how productive we are this week as I prepare to move in with my darling. I have managed to throw away some papers and donate clothes to a local organization. I have also located a loving home where I can send my furniture and my television. We will see how my little companion works on cleaning out the room where I am going to be setting up my office in our flat. This is some serious shit.

Someone who “gets” you

I can start explaining something to Lizzy and she listens quietly or sometimes she’s very excited and i realize she gets me. I think in relationships that begin to grow and develop into something more long lasting, you will reach a point of understanding what your partner is trying to tell you. You will start to explain yourself and your companion will say, “I know.”

You will realize that you don’t always have to be exciting, going and doing something together because merely being and talking to one another is enough. You will reach a point in time when the person you think about having sex with is the person you respect and value and listen to. The person who, if you walked into a crowded room, and you heard only that person’s voice, you would move towards him or her. At that point you will get one another. And that will be a love supreme. Talk to me, Mr. Coltrane.

One of the finest albums ever made. It become a life journey, seeking A Love Supreme. Where will you find it? What will you do with it, as part of a couple who get one another? How will you support, encourage, strengthen and bond with one another? How do we respond to being supremely loved? Good question. When you write to me, tell me about feeling that someone really gets and appreciates who you really are.